An unbelievable WTF moment.
02-16-2008, 05:56 AM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 352
An unbelievable WTF moment.
I just had to share this...hell I wuld have posted it to Youtube if I had a video taped copy of what transpired, this will have to do.
The short version: I had to buy a new lugnut.
The long version: Ok, so the other day I'm at work, nothing special. I finish my shift, straighten up my work station and clock out. I head on out to the parking lot and see some individual doing something near my drivers side front wheel. I get a little closer, royally pissed off but being cautious, and notice this person has every typical characteristic of being a homeless, wacked-out crack head...they also have a lugwrench.
So I holler out, "Hey!! The fu*k you think you're doing?!?". This guy looks at/through me and rambles out "Man I gossa get this nut, thems tastey nuts, my wife LOVES MY NUTS!!!", he then goes back to trying to figure out how to work a lugwrench. Fully convinced this person is completely out of thier fricken mind I pop the blutooth and call the cops. It being Cypress they're there in a matter of minutes, go boys in blue.
One cop shows up with the promise of another soon and the guy asks me whats going on. I point to the crackhead (yes, I'm generalizing, sue me) and say, "This guy is trying to steal my wheels. Ya mind...I don't know...stopping him? He's got a tire iron, I've got a cell phone, you have a gun and a tazer...he's all yours".
Crackhead Joe starts screaming at the top of his lungs at this point, "YOU MOTHER F**KERS STAY 'WAY FROM BE!!!! I DONT CARE BOUT NO DAMN RIMS I JUST WANT MAH NUTS!! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY GODDAMN NUTS!!!" Ok, at had to laugh at that...but he didn't notice.
The cop goes through the whole "Ok sir, I need you to put the wrnech down and step back" deal. My new nut-loving buddy Joe isn't trying to hear it, he continues to ramble on about his nuts and goes back to work on my wheel.
Just then the other cop rolls in, comes over and starts asking Cop A whats going on. Cop A briefs Cop B while Joe finally gets one of my lugs off and happily drops the wrench while holding my lugnut like it's he holy grail. Now I'm a little bit past pissed off, I'm rabid, I'm frothing, I'm ready to murder me a crack head, thankfully the cops decide it's time to arrest Joe. They step up, Cop A kicks the wrench under my car and Cop B gets a hand on Joes arm...
Unfortunately for me, he grabs the arm that does not have the hand with my lugnut in it, Joe flips out in true derranged style screaming to the heavens, "AINT NO PO PO GONNA TAKE MY NUTS!!! F**K YOU MAN!!! YOU CAN BEAT ME ALL YOU WANT I DON'T CARE!!!!" He then swallows my lugnut.
I'll say that again, he SWALLOWED my LUGNUT!! Some cracked out homeless mother f**ker ATE MY LUGNUT!!
The cops wrestle him to the ground, get him cuffed and get him in the cruiser.
Situation handled and under control they ask me a few questions, what happened, how I came upon the suspect and do I want to press charges. I laughed...press charges..for what??? Grand theft lugnut? How many years you get for that? The guy didn't even scratch my wheel.
Told the cops to forget it, the guy was going to suffer enough as that thing worked it's way through his gut anyways and it's a 3 dollar item. Told them to get him some help and if they'd excuse me I'd like to get to Autozone. Signed some forms, went about my bussiness with the promise that they would call me if they needed more information and spent the next hour and a half trying to locate a lugnut for a 1993 300ZX, N/A.
Finally did and all is right with the world. So I guess the only other thing to say is:
Lugnut - $2.73
Price of gas driving around town - $6 or so.
Watching some crackhead eat your lugnut - Priceless
The short version: I had to buy a new lugnut.
The long version: Ok, so the other day I'm at work, nothing special. I finish my shift, straighten up my work station and clock out. I head on out to the parking lot and see some individual doing something near my drivers side front wheel. I get a little closer, royally pissed off but being cautious, and notice this person has every typical characteristic of being a homeless, wacked-out crack head...they also have a lugwrench.
So I holler out, "Hey!! The fu*k you think you're doing?!?". This guy looks at/through me and rambles out "Man I gossa get this nut, thems tastey nuts, my wife LOVES MY NUTS!!!", he then goes back to trying to figure out how to work a lugwrench. Fully convinced this person is completely out of thier fricken mind I pop the blutooth and call the cops. It being Cypress they're there in a matter of minutes, go boys in blue.
One cop shows up with the promise of another soon and the guy asks me whats going on. I point to the crackhead (yes, I'm generalizing, sue me) and say, "This guy is trying to steal my wheels. Ya mind...I don't know...stopping him? He's got a tire iron, I've got a cell phone, you have a gun and a tazer...he's all yours".
Crackhead Joe starts screaming at the top of his lungs at this point, "YOU MOTHER F**KERS STAY 'WAY FROM BE!!!! I DONT CARE BOUT NO DAMN RIMS I JUST WANT MAH NUTS!! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY GODDAMN NUTS!!!" Ok, at had to laugh at that...but he didn't notice.
The cop goes through the whole "Ok sir, I need you to put the wrnech down and step back" deal. My new nut-loving buddy Joe isn't trying to hear it, he continues to ramble on about his nuts and goes back to work on my wheel.
Just then the other cop rolls in, comes over and starts asking Cop A whats going on. Cop A briefs Cop B while Joe finally gets one of my lugs off and happily drops the wrench while holding my lugnut like it's he holy grail. Now I'm a little bit past pissed off, I'm rabid, I'm frothing, I'm ready to murder me a crack head, thankfully the cops decide it's time to arrest Joe. They step up, Cop A kicks the wrench under my car and Cop B gets a hand on Joes arm...
Unfortunately for me, he grabs the arm that does not have the hand with my lugnut in it, Joe flips out in true derranged style screaming to the heavens, "AINT NO PO PO GONNA TAKE MY NUTS!!! F**K YOU MAN!!! YOU CAN BEAT ME ALL YOU WANT I DON'T CARE!!!!" He then swallows my lugnut.
I'll say that again, he SWALLOWED my LUGNUT!! Some cracked out homeless mother f**ker ATE MY LUGNUT!!
The cops wrestle him to the ground, get him cuffed and get him in the cruiser.
Situation handled and under control they ask me a few questions, what happened, how I came upon the suspect and do I want to press charges. I laughed...press charges..for what??? Grand theft lugnut? How many years you get for that? The guy didn't even scratch my wheel.
Told the cops to forget it, the guy was going to suffer enough as that thing worked it's way through his gut anyways and it's a 3 dollar item. Told them to get him some help and if they'd excuse me I'd like to get to Autozone. Signed some forms, went about my bussiness with the promise that they would call me if they needed more information and spent the next hour and a half trying to locate a lugnut for a 1993 300ZX, N/A.
Finally did and all is right with the world. So I guess the only other thing to say is:
Lugnut - $2.73
Price of gas driving around town - $6 or so.
Watching some crackhead eat your lugnut - Priceless
02-20-2008, 06:09 AM
#13
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 352
Originally Posted by Darkmann
That's one heck of a WTF moment. Now, tell me, the cops must have been cracking up somewhere along the line. This is too funny!!!
The best part is they've been rolling by my work every few hours now, seems we've been added to thier regular patrol for a bit.
02-21-2008, 06:35 PM
#16
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: virginia
Posts: 4,617
haha that is a great story. i havn't read it til now honestly because in my quick scanning, i thought it said WWF moment meaning that it had to do with wrestling, so i didn't read it til just now. haha good stuff though. just think if he had already gotten 2 off when the cops grabbed him...
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